Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Happy Middle.

well... it's been an interesting week.
Last Sunday, I got DUMPED.
Annnddd, as you know if you have ever been dumped, it sucks.
...I'm trying not to be too cliche about it.

At first, I was mostly angry. I didn't really understand the reasoning behind the breakup, and to me it came out of nowhere. Honestly, I was trying to push all of my feelings to MAD, so I didn't have to just feel crappy. And stupid. But then that came too. It was all in the ignorance of it, if only I understood what really had happened, maybe I could feel better, get closure or something. But I asked, and nothing changed. I didn't find out anything new really, but I did say some things I felt I needed to say. Still felt mostly like crap though.

But then I realized it's okay to hurt. And it will take a while for it to go away, but I don't have to mope about and wait to feel totally 100% better to go on with my life. So I got my heart broken, big deal, it happens to everyone. I refuse to sit around and wait for it to break more. Besides, my heart has a huge portion with everything else contained inside of it that is separate from him. And that part didn't break. Only that little part did. But that's okay.

There are no happy endings.
Endings are the saddest part,
So just give me a happy middle
And a very happy start.
-Shel Silverstein

And, oh, my middle was happy.... And my start? Very happy too.
It is the end, but not the end of all.

Now, a gem of a song that has continued to ring true, especially through this week.
"I don't want to battle from beginning to end.
I don't want to cycle or recycle revenge,
I don't want to follow death and all of his friends."

So I move one. I hope for better. Later. I forgive.
I just... keep swimming.


  1. Good attitude. You are such a beautiful, lovely soul.